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This book had been shelved for long time in  Children shelf- a genres that I never interest to visit in my bookstore until my loyal customer ask me to find that book. She said she wanted the collector edition in red cover which is unfortunately unavailable in Indonesia. I wander whether this book so good since my loyal customer has a nice style in picking a book.

She said that Fangirl is definitely a good book! you should read it!. So I bought the book on my birthday just to use my birthday coupon and read that book during the time when I had to stay at home because of the flood disaster on last February. The book is absolutely page-turner!. I enjoy all the character and I have to admit that Rainbow Rowell has bewitched me to be in love with her writing style. Two thumbs for you , Ms. Rowell. I believe everyone should give this book a try.

The story begin  when the coming–of–age story of two twins who grew up in the world of internet fandom enter college life.This however changes when both girls decide to move away from home for uni and decide not to share rooms.

The main protagonist, Cath, is one of the most successful fan–fiction author on the 'Simon Snow' archive (which shares a lot of its elements with the Harry Potter series). Having grown up without a mother, Cath grows up to be a very introverted girl, being overly attached to her twin sister who serves the role of both her best friend and only link to a social life. Now being separated from her only source of comfort, Cath must face the life of a freshman in uni, dealing with anxiety, a rude room mate and her room mate's hyperactive 'boyfriend' who just won't leave her alone.

Fangirl is a must–read for any teenage girl going through any kind of change, as it explores many themes, from the fear of making new friends, to the change of relationships with people, as you move on in life. It explains the importance of not changing yourself but growing. Often times, people think growing up means growing out of childish things, and often times it does mean leaving parts of us behind, however, there is always a way of balancing things that are important to us with things that are important for our future. Life is all about finding this balance, and this book explores the journey perfectly.

Overall, I really liked this book as every teenage girl (and boy) can relate to some of the themes explored on Cath's journey. Fangirl includes a little bit of everything: romance, humour, drama and even fantasy, as little snippets of Cath's fan–fiction are shown. 

It has been my first post after 17th days of February. I have been too busy with stuff like birthday party, my online shop promotion, got trapped in flood disaster at Jakarta, and my job in office. I need quite surroundings to write my blog post unfortunately I can not get it in 17 first day of February. Finally today , I had a chance to write about February yes about what I learn and feel in this month.   


Time goes by and yesterday I am officially turning 27 years old. According to Angel Shelton, this period is called as Saturn Return.

Wikipedia says about Saturn Return:

It is believed by astrologers that, as Saturn “returns” to the degree in its orbit occupied at the time of birth, a person crosses over a major threshold and enters the next stage of life. With the first Saturn return, a person leaves youth behind and enters adulthood. With the second return, maturity. And with the third and usually final return, a person enters wise old age. These periods are estimated to occur at roughly the ages of 28-30, 56-60 and 84-90. A fourth return occurs for only a few people, at age 114-118.

What it means to me?
 People say that I am going to feel chaotic, like everything is being uprooted, but that’s a good thing! It started at age 27 for me and by 29 I will be in an entirely new phase of my life. I had plan to continue my study through applying  a scholarship but today the committee tell me that they decided to not take my application further. They really had my heart break.

My mind wanders to the lines of Anne of Green Gables 's quote :

“You're not eating anything," said Marilla sharply, eying her as if it were a serious shortcoming. Anne sighed.

I can't. I'm in the depths of despair. Can you eat when
you are in the depths of despair?"

I've never been in the depths of despair, so I can't say," responded Marilla.

Weren't you? Well, did you ever try to IMAGINE you were in
the depths of despair?"

No, I didn't."

Then I don't think you can understand what it's like. It's very uncomfortable a feeling indeed.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

To be worsen my husband responded that I have to left my job and moving outside Jakarta to raise the children. I feel so sad because I have no good choice about my life. I can not always keep my job because I have no career. Maybe I have an enough salary but still I can not grow in there. Being a house wife is not an easy one, I have no experience in cooking and raising children and I also have to leave the big city. I can imagine how I will spend my day in home everyday due to there is no transportation in there. All I can do is dreaming about continue my study where I will be permitted by my husband to life in big city and I can grow. I wish I had that chance in my 27.

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What it feels to me?
I feel so unlucky. I feel like I had to accept that I am not that special.  I remember how I have late to finish my study due to my first pregnancy. I also failed in one of subject so I can not reach my cum laude. The second pregnancy is not planned and I got another baby girl again. I really wish that I have a baby boy but I'm not that lucky. Now my scholarship is not proceeded further. I also have job but not career. I just not satisfied that my life just that ordinary. You might think that I am not grateful but I think is okay sometimes to express your disappointment when your life just do not well as your planned. I need a time to understand that maybe God has a best plan and it is should be better than my plan. Believe me, I am kind a person that not easy to give up. 

then I remember one of  the lines in Anne of Green Gables book :

 “I've done my best, and I begin to understand what is meant by 'the joy of strife'. Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

 I try to apply scholarship again this year! I will not give up!